If i come over, it means nothing
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
