After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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