I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
