Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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