You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
