No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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