It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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