i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
