im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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