i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
