Her vagina should come with caution tape.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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