Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
