Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
