Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize