Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
