im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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