final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
