I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
