Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
