Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
