i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
