apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
