I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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