How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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