Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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