Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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