Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
