i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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