Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
