its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
