i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sorry my hands just texted you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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