I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
