you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
