oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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