The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
