Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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