He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
