Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That's when you crack a 10am beer
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
