I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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