Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
