you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
