I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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