but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
