on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
