There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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