Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
