They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
