I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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