someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
