im drinking this country out of the recession.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
