2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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