mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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