I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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