I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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