And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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