One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
