she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
