Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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