I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
this hospital has no fireball
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
