I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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