It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
