And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You're a waste of cheezeits
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
